Posts Tagged ‘service’

And we wondered what our blog topic would be today. It never seems to fail … something interesting comes up.

Today, on Twitter, we got the question (via a follower’s tweet):

“Does anyone know what the collective for ‘authors’ is? Grammar geeks, I need you!”

This sent us running for our copy of the fabulous book: “An Exaltation of Larks or, The Venereal Game” by James Lipton, which is, by most measures, the authority on collectives. Once we turned the cover, we were, once again, in deep; off and running, figuratively, in our own little collective world.

This book is delightful. We highly recommend it for those who enjoy a good play of words. And, these entries can be put to practical use too.

As a tribute to the great Dr. Lipton, we offer some additions to this ever-growing list of collectives. We begin with one that we invented because we did not find the answer to today’s original question …

A composition of authors.

And so, here goes:

  • A schedule of planners.
  • A class of trainers.
  • A quota of sales reps.
  • A pool of typists.
  • A service of customer agents.
  • A circuit of engineers.
  • A board of chip designers.
  • A club of golfers.
  • A string of gift wrappers.
  • A cut of hairdressers.
  • A cell of inmates.
  • A cord of bungee jumpers.
  • A package of UPS drivers.
  • A cue of pool players.
  • A clue of detectives.
  • A deck of carpenters.
  • A pad of stenographers.
  • A capsule of pharmacists.
  • A tablet of scribes.
  • A mess of marines.
  • A gang of oneupsmen.
  • A ledger of accountants.
  • A set of screenwriters.
  • A patch of menders.
  • A pack of hikers.
  • A register of cashiers.
  • A league of SCUBA divers.

Enjoy, and feel free to add your own.

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A reader writes:

“Sign in a Waffle House on I-75 North of Knoxville:

‘Shoes and shirt must be worn to be served.'”

What comes to your mind?

Here’s what came to ours:

serve shirt shoes

How worn would you like yours ? Would that be:

  • just tried on (rare)
  • barely worn (medium-rare)
  • comfortably soft (medium)
  • worn to fray around the edges (medium-well)
  • completely worn out; in rags (well-done)

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What does this say to you?

“We guarantee to collect your money or our service is FREE!”

When we first read this advertisement, we thought … DUH!

How does any service get paid if they don’t “collect” your money?

A waitperson doesn’t get their tip if they don’t collect it, right?

Then, reading further, we realized this was advertising a “collection” service.

Are we the only ones slightly confused by this?

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