Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘report’

Quite a while ago, we blogged about a grammar error in a TV commercial for Chef Michael’s Dog Food.

See our post: Identity crisis …

“My name is Chef Michael and my dog Bailey and me love to hang out in the kitchen …” Should be: I.

We are very pleased to report that this grammar goof has been corrected!

This is our slogan in action: “we find it, you fix it.” Thanks for listening, Chef Michael’s!

Tweet Me from https://grammarcops.wordpress.com

Read Full Post »

We have been asked several times where we stand on this controversy … you know, the old rule: “i before e, except after c.”

i before e

Ever since the news came out that Britain would forego teaching this rule … (click here to read the news item) … we’ve been ducking the question.

At first, we thougt, “how could they?” … only because we have quite an affinity for grammar rules and helpful tips. Then, we got to thinking (always a dangerous proposition) … That led us to do some research. 

Our number one self-assigned task was to find the exceptions to this rule, that is, those words that, when spelled correctly, have an i before an e after a c. The results were astonishing …

Our search returned 364 words with a correct “… c-i-e …” sequence. Granted, the list includes multiple tenses of several words, plurals (using “…cies”), past tense (using “…cied”), and some words that we would swear are not real (or English, for that matter), however, here are a few notables:

  • science, society, ancient, species, conscience, glacier, efficient, sufficient, coefficient, deficiency.

Next, we looked back for those words that actually fit the rule, in which, after c, the e comes before the i … and we found this to be even more astonishing–that there are so few. Our search led to only 134 entries, with such standouts as:

  • ceiling, deceive, receive, perceive, conceit

The remainder of this list seemed to be filled out with variations on those few.

So, the position we held before Britain’s choice made the news, is now shattered, but we do like the new rule that we read about … “i before e, except when it isn’t.”

For more, take a gander through the great article about this on the always wonderful World Wide Words.

Therefore, instead of breaking from Britain and establishing our independence on this topic, we do hereby bow.

Happy Independence Day, America!

Tweet Me from https://grammarcops.wordpress.com

Read Full Post »

Fun with headlines …

A recent news headline reads:

“Report uncovers child trafficking”

(click here for the real story)

What comes to your mind?

Here’s what came to ours:

child traffic

Read Full Post »

A CNN.com headline reads:

“Crash hearing raises pilot fatigue …”

(click here for the real story)

What comes to your mind?

Here’s what came to ours:

tired pilot

Read Full Post »

GrammarSpammers are at it again.

Here’s an excerpt from what we think is supposed to be a job offer:

“The following report, originally requested by the primal applicant …”

What comes to your mind?

Here’s what came to ours:

primal-applicant-report

Read Full Post »

A reader writes: “What exactly are the duties of a Grammar Police Deputy?”

Well, first of all, thanks for your question! And, second, we must get busy defining those responsibilities as we now have several applications for the position, and we recently named a couple of deputies. Here’s your job description …

The duties of a Grammar Police (GP) Deputy include but are not limited to:

  • Affect an arrest, using forcible language if necessary.
  • Subdue resisting subjects using social media and the Web while employing defensive tactical manners, or approved non-lethal words.
  • Pursue fleeing suspects both day and night in unfamiliar terrain.
  • Use grammatically-correct force through barriers to search, seize, investigate and/or rescue.
  • Perform grammar searches of Tweets, Web postings, books, TV/radio, movies and everyday conversations.
  • Climb over obstacles, through openings, jump down from elevated surfaces. Jump over obstacles, ditches and streams. Crawl in confined areas to pursue, search, investigate and/or rescue. Conduct searches of buildings and large outdoor areas. All figuratively, of course.
  • Perform tasks which require thinking, typing, laughing, or reading while performing arrest, rescue or general grammar patrol functions.
  • Prepare investigative and other reports, using appropriate grammar, usage,  symbols and mathematical computations.
  • Present aforementioned reports to the Grammar Police Captain (@GrammarCops) via Tweets on Twitter or via comments on https://grammarcops.wordpress.com/
  • Communicate effectively over approved grammar enforcement channels while initiating and responding to questions and other communications.
  • Communicate verbally and effectively by listening to others and by giving information, directions and commands, often within a 140 character limitation. 
  • Conduct grammar surveillance for extended periods of time (and always with a smile).
  • Perform grammar enforcement patrol functions while working rotating shifts and unanticipated overtime (for which you will never be paid).
  • Operate emergency vocabulary during both the day and night in pursuit situations involving grammar goofs in excess of posted limits while exercising due care and caution, in exception to traffic control devices and in congested traffic, unsafe language and environmental conditions.
  • Load, unload, aim and fire words, abbreviations, acronyms, phrases, complete sentences, and other grammar enforcement agency weapons from a variety of body positions in situations that justify the use of non-deadly force while maintaining emotional control under real and/or imagined extreme stress.
  • May serve a variety of civil grammar actions. Take a stand.
  • Conduct grammar enforcement investigations to include the following critical tasks: protect grammar, usage, spelling and punctuation crime and accident scenes, conduct interviews, record information, measure and diagram grammar crime and accident scenes, prepare detailed reports of investigative findings, seize and process evidence, present testimony and evidence in civil or criminal grammar court proceedings.
  • Recommend appropriate sentences for convicted offenders.
  • Perform a variety of public assistance activities. Exercise independent judgment within grammar guidelines.
  • Maintain deputy certification requirements as recommended by the captain, and adhere to all policies and procedures.

Read Full Post »

 

Grammar Police Deputy Badge

Grammar Police Deputy Badge

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Grammar Police (@GrammarCops) Deputy Badge awarded to @JackInChicago (Twitter).

Visit this deputy on: http://funditchicago.publishpath.com/

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »