Posts Tagged ‘drink’

We have long been “Peppers” … fans of the 10, the 2, and the 4, the “King of Beverages” and “The Most Original Soft Drink Ever” … even basking in the soda pop celebrity of having met the owner of the oldest Dr Pepper bottling plant in … well, the world! Dublin, Texas (outside of Ft. Worth) is home to this plant that is the last holdout for pure cane sugar (instead of high fructose corn syrup) in their drinks. But, we digress …

This week, we were dismayed to hear a grammar goof in a TV commercial for the 23 flavors. The latest Dr Pepper “Trust me – I’m a Doctor” campaign may be a boost for Dr. Dre (rapper, record producer, actor) – their  spokesman, however, it has grammar protectors running for a remedy. Here’s the gaffe:

“Scientific tests prove … when you drink Dr. Pepper slow, the 23 flavors taste even better.”

Now, slow may produce hits for Dr. Dre, as he claims in this ad, and if we were, with an adjective, describing this tasteful treat, slow would be fine. In this case, though, the traditional and proper usage is slowly, the adverb.*

So, Dr Pepper and Dr. Dre, we would like to introduce you to Dr. Grammar (yes, there really is such a practitioner – click here to discover him).

We recommend prescriptive grammar, a couple of tablets (or a blackboard) and a sentence of “I will drink it slowly as community service, to avoid the GrammarGallows.

We will continue to “Drink a Bite to Eat at 10, 2 and 4 o’clock” because, truly, “One Taste & You Get It” and “Dr Pepper, nothing better.” However, the “Dr’s Orders” to “Drink It Slow will not be on our prescription pad any time soon.  

While you’re reading … why not “Be a Pepper” and take a drink of “America’s Most Misunderstood Soft Drink” as it is “Good For Life” even if its grammar may not be.

Dr Pepper

* We anticipate receiving comments that the adverb form slow is widely accepted, and has been in use since about the 15th century … OK, we concede its use, but … let us have our fun, please … we like the traditional.

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This set of rules can be a real stinker 🙂 …

Drink, drank, drunk. We went to a party. Did she drink all night? Yes, she drank most of the night. She might have drunk most of the evening. She surely had enough to drink that she became drunk!

Shrink, shrank, shrunk. We were doing laundry. Oh my, did his shirt shrink? Oops, yes, it shrank. we’ll be in big trouble when he finds out his shirt has shrunk. Guess we’ll just shrink away into the other room …

Sink, sank, sunk. We were watching a blockbuster movie the other night. Did the Titanic really sink? Oh yes, it sank. Do you think Leo would be such a big star if the ship had not sunk?

Stink, stank, stunk. We went to the gym. There was this stink. We tried to figure out what/who stank? We would have had a longer workout if it had not stunk so badly. Anything to get out of a (stinking) workout.

Now, some exceptions:

Blink – to open and close the eyes. Blinked.

  • blank – having no marks; not filled in; an empty space; etc. Also, a great movie character with the first name Martin.
  • blunk – no such word

Clink – to make a light, sharp ringing sound. Clinked.

  • clank – a sharp hard sound
  • clunk – to hit hard (esp. on the head)

Fink – an informer; strikebreaker; to inform to the police; squeal). Finked.

  • fank – no such word
  • funk – cowering fear; a dejected mood; a strong smell or stench

Ink – a fluid used for writing; a dark, protective fluid; publicity. Inked.

  • ank – no such word
  • unk – no such word

Link – to join or connect; a ring or separate piece of a chain. Linked.

  • lank – lean, gaunt, thin
  • lunk – lunk(head) – a dull or stupid person; blockhead

Wink – to close and open one eye quickly; twinkle. Winked.

  • wank (clean slang) – a clever technique or one employing such
  • wunk – no such word

Sync. Synced. (… not going here except to harmonize the Palm with the PC …)

Then, there’s this stand-out …

Think – to have a conscious mind; to conceive of something; etc.). Thought.

  • thank – to express gratitude, appreciation, or acknowledgement to
  • thunk – no such word

So, who’d have thunk it? We thank you for making us think of this topic today (wink, wink) instead of wanking (clean!). It doesn’t take a lank lunk to link most nouns with their pasts, and now, it’s inked. We’ve neen in a funk (listening to funk), or we would have caught the fink who finked to the Grammar Police. We thought we heard a clank, however, it must have been the clunk on the head that made us sit up, take notice, and clink our glasses in a toast. We hope, now, we have filled in the blank(s) for you … and, guess what, we did it in the blink of an eye.

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