Dr Pepper … meet Dr. Grammar

We have long been “Peppers” … fans of the 10, the 2, and the 4, the “King of Beverages” and “The Most Original Soft Drink Ever” … even basking in the soda pop celebrity of having met the owner of the oldest Dr Pepper bottling plant in … well, the world! Dublin, Texas (outside of Ft. Worth) is home to this plant that is the last holdout for pure cane sugar (instead of high fructose corn syrup) in their drinks. But, we digress …

This week, we were dismayed to hear a grammar goof in a TV commercial for the 23 flavors. The latest Dr Pepper “Trust me – I’m a Doctor” campaign may be a boost for Dr. Dre (rapper, record producer, actor) – their  spokesman, however, it has grammar protectors running for a remedy. Here’s the gaffe:

“Scientific tests prove … when you drink Dr. Pepper slow, the 23 flavors taste even better.”

Now, slow may produce hits for Dr. Dre, as he claims in this ad, and if we were, with an adjective, describing this tasteful treat, slow would be fine. In this case, though, the traditional and proper usage is slowly, the adverb.*

So, Dr Pepper and Dr. Dre, we would like to introduce you to Dr. Grammar (yes, there really is such a practitioner – click here to discover him).

We recommend prescriptive grammar, a couple of tablets (or a blackboard) and a sentence of “I will drink it slowly“ as community service, to avoid the GrammarGallows.

We will continue to “Drink a Bite to Eat at 10, 2 and 4 o’clock” because, truly, “One Taste & You Get It” and “Dr Pepper, nothing better.” However, the “Dr’s Orders” to “Drink It Slow“ will not be on our prescription pad any time soon.  

While you’re reading … why not “Be a Pepper” and take a drink of “America’s Most Misunderstood Soft Drink” as it is “Good For Life” even if its grammar may not be.

* We anticipate receiving comments that the adverb form slow is widely accepted, and has been in use since about the 15th century … OK, we concede its use, but … let us have our fun, please … we like the traditional.

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Spartaneity …

OK, this may be a stretch for some of you, but please indulge us …

We were cruising the wikiHow lists, and came across a title that kindled our collegiate spirit:

“How to Go Green at Work”

(click here for the real story)

What comes to your mind?

Here’s what came to ours:

Yes, we are loyal members of the MSU (Spartans) Alumni Association. (click here to learn more) Where … It’s Greener On Our Side.

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Fishy roost …

One of today’s iGoogle wikiHow To listings is:

“How to Make Perches for a Hummingbird Feeder”

(click here for the real story)

What comes to your mind?

Here’s what came to ours:

So, here’s our word of the day:

perch. noun.

• a pole or rod, usually horizontal, serving as a roost for birds.
• any place or object, as a sill, fence, branch, or twig, for a bird, animal, or person to alight or rest upon.
• a high or elevated position, resting place, or the like.
• a small, elevated seat for the driver of any of certain vehicles.
• a pole connecting the fore and hind running parts of a spring carriage or other vehicle.
• a post set up as a navigational aid on a navigational hazard or on a buoy.
• British
  a. a linear or square rod.
  b. a measure of volume for stone, about 24 cubic feet (0.7 cubic meters).
• Textiles. an apparatus consisting of two vertical posts and a horizontal roller, used for inspecting cloth after it leaves the loom.
• Obsolete. any pole, rod, or the like.
  

perch. verb (used without object)

• to alight or rest upon a perch.
• to settle or rest in some elevated position, as if on a perch.

perch. verb (used with object)

• to set or place on or as if on a perch.
• to inspect (cloth) for defects and blemishes after it has been taken from the loom and placed upon a perch.

perch. noun, plural (especially collectively) perch, (especially referring to two or more kinds or species) perch⋅es.

• any spiny-finned, freshwater food fish of the genus Perca, as P. flavescens (yellow perch), of the U.S., or P. fluviatilis, of Europe.
• any of various other related, spiny-finned fishes.
• any of several embioticid fishes, as Hysterocarpus traski (tule perch) of California.

Source: dictionary.com

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