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Archive for June 11th, 2009

When we encounter something funny that has to do with words, we like to pass it along. This is an excerpt from an email going around today. Hope you enjoy it.

“From the diary of a Pre-School Teacher: My five-year old students are learning to read. Yesterday one of them pointed at a picture in a zoo book and said, ‘Look at this! It’s a frickin’ elephant!’ I took a deep breath, then asked …’What did you call it?’ ‘It’s a frickin’ elephant! It says so on the picture!’

african elephant

And so it does …”

Don’t you just love “Hooked on Phonics”?

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Here’s our latest contribution to Austin Post:

Austin cartoon map

Austin is batty every day, but the sum of the parts makes up the Whole Foods gourmet this town has to offer, and you don’t even have to go beyond The County Line to experience it.

Austin is a great place to Relax The Back as your home to come to or Om Yoga To Go to(o). It is UT-terly delightful!

If you haven’t Applied Materials, maybe you’re Dazed and Confused or just a Slacker who loves Austin.

Austin sounds presidential on KLBJ radio.

If you’re into cycling, you may not have to wait for the knight to see Lance – a lot.

Austin has plenty of trees and Bushs. And, you can go the Lakeway if you want water.

In the mid 90s, Austin became the Apple of our technology eye, but it remains a Dell of a town!

On the map, we’re SXSW, which means an XLent Hole in the Wall filled with music and movies more live than DOA (see it for a Quaid-lude).

You don’t need a Virtual Alert to the life here … but, in Amy’s words, “Life is uncertain, eat dessert first,” and stay tuned for future installments of this feature.

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A few days ago, we picked up on a thread that was going around, and we made an original contribution to an existing list.

See our previous post: Logic and the English language, part 2.

Yesterday, we got an email from a friend that took this concept even further, and now it has us on a roll …

Here is more evidence that English may not be the easiest language to learn:

  • The bandage was wound around the wound.
  • The farm was used to produce produce.
  • The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
  • We must polish the Polish furniture.
  • He could  lead if he would get the lead out.
  • The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
  • Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
  • A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
  • When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
  • I did not object to the object.
  • The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
  • There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
  • They were too close to the door to close it.
  • The buck does funny things when the does are present.
  • A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
  • To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. (Later, the farmer also taught the sow to sew.)
  • The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
  • Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
  • I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
  • How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

And a few additions of our own:

  • The violinist, a master with the bow, took a bow to the audience.
  • You wouldn’t want to be late for your morning latte.
  • Many decorate with holly in the holy season.
  • The judge dared to convict the convict once again.
  • The lather worked up quite a lather while cleaning the woodworking equipment.
  • Does it take a college course to learn to make a collage?
  • The august scholar was introduced in August.
  • A rebel with a cause has reason to rebel.
  • Do they eat lima beans in Lima, Peru?
  • There is a very nice city called Nice, in France.

And, several entries from our friends at fun-with-words.com:

  • Please excuse me while I think of an excuse.
  • The button was so minute that it was a minute before I found it.
  • It’s the referee’s job to record the new world record.
  • When people abuse drugs this is called drug abuse.
  • To contest the issue they held a contest.
  • John became a convert after deciding to convert to another religion.
  • If I need a duplicate I can use the copy machine to duplicate the letter.
  • The guard will permit you to pass if you show a valid permit.
  • Please put my typewriter to use because I never use it.
  • They alternate between using the alternate machine and the main one.
  • My grandfather is aged ninety-two so he is quite aged.
  • I crooked my neck to see the man with the crooked stick.
  • Extreme weather may desolate a place making it a desolate place.
  • Everything I know I learned from that learned old man.
  • The overture took years to perfect, but eventually it was perfect.
  • I want you to separate the cards into two separate piles.
  • I tried to console the controller as he stood at his console.
  • John was content that the content of the box was undamaged.
  • The drawer drew a picture of the cupboard and drawer.
  • The lavishly decorated entrance will entrance the visitors.
  • It will incense the bursar that we have spent so much on incense.
  • As my mother moped about, a man on a moped rode by.
  • I broke a number of bones in my right hand; it’s number than the left.
  • As the charity event proceeds, the proceeds keep pouring in.
  • The President will recount the events that led to a vote recount.
  • I resent the fact that the letter was lost, but I have resent it.

Now, you’ve had a loose lesson on Heteronyms. wasn’t that fun?

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